A Moment with Sandra Miller

Although I’ve been blogging for close to two and a half years now, there are still a lot people who do not know about my passion for the process of balancing one’s blessings; and what drove me to write the book Balancing Blessings and Obtaining Order. Thanks to Ashley my assistant and her thought provoking questions here is an interview I did with her over a year ago. God Bless.

Ashley: Sandra, can you tell us, what your book is about?
Sandra: Balancing Blessings and Obtaining Order is essentially an eleven step process designed to help women get some semblance of balance and order in every aspect of their lives in light of God’s Word and will. This is achieved by helping women first understand how blessed they really are, and how habits, processes, and being out of kilter affects their effectiveness for God. But the book doesn’t stop there, its main purpose is to walk women through the actual process of conquering their clutter, managing their household finances, pursuing their passions, making their ministries matter, living more healthier lifestyles, and so on--essentially involving into the Proverbs 31 woman most of us long to be like.

Ashley: What makes this book so important?
Sandra: What makes this book so important is its purpose. The purpose of this book—which is also my ministry motto—is to help women manage their time, so they have more time, to invest that time in the things of God. It is my personal belief that when God is actively involved in the various aspects of our lives we are more effective women. An effective woman is focused, an effective woman blesses, an effective woman produces fruits that honor and glorify God, and those around her. An effective woman is not perfect, but she does have the flexibility to stop when God says stop, to turn when God says turn, and to hold up and seek God when He desires to take her in a new direction.

Ashley: What inspired you to write Balancing Blessings and Obtaining Order?
Sandra: My life, my friends, women… I started feeling as if women (including myself) were losing a big chuck of themselves trying to be all things to all people; and trying to live up to everyone’s expectations (including their own). Growing up my mom stayed home, and my dad provided for the family, so for a long time I was torn between doing what my mom did and being the superwoman that society wanted me to be. That’s just a snippet of the expectations and responsibilities that women struggle with every day. Some of us have overextended ourselves to the point of exhaustion. We are living life on a roller coaster that won’t stop, until we decide enough is enough and are able to say, “Forget what society thinks I ought to be doing; what is right in the eyes of God? What will allow me to look back five or ten years from now and give me comfort and peace that I made the right choice for myself, and my loved ones?”

Ashley: Who are you, what do you represent to other women?
Sandra: I am a wife, a mother, a daughter, and a sister in Christ to every single woman out there who believes they need God as much as I do. What do I represent? I represent today’s Christian Woman who does not believe in the status quo; but believes “godly common sense” and flexibility is the key to living a productive more balanced life.

I’m getting healthy and fit not to look good in a bathing suit, but so I can more effectively run my race for God. There may be a year where I can focus on my career, and help build up the family’s emergency fund. There may also be a year where I’ll have to stay home or work part-time, because it’s necessary to home school my son, tend to my marriage, etc. What I can tell you is that society will not dictate my choices, God will. What I hope to be for Christian women is a symbol of what balance and order through God can brings…love, joy, peace, goodness, kindness…

Ashley: What reading audience did you have in mind when you wrote this book?
Sandra: All women, but more specifically my sisters in Christ.

Ashley: Do you think the path to balance and order is the same for everyone?
Sandra: I think each of us have our own individual struggles. Some struggle more with managing money than others; yet some are dealing with weight issues to the point that their weight is impeding their ministry and their livelihood. The wonderful thing about my book is that it’s flexible. Once you’ve read a short introduction and the first two chapters, you decided where you need to go from there. It may be to Step 4: Exercising and Eating Healthy, or to Step 5: Conquering your Clutter. The path may not be the same for everyone, but the destination is the same; and that destination is to be the godly woman that God has called each of us to be.

Ashley: What authors inspire you?
Sandra: I am inspired by so many wonderful authors: Elizabeth Gorge is one, Max Lucado is another, and of course Michelle McKinney. I guess what attracts me to an author is the spirit of their books, stories (personal and biblical), and their focus on God and God’s Word.

Ashley: How can readers find out more about you and your endeavors?
Sandra: Anything you want to know about me and my endeavors can be found on my web page at http://www.balancingblessings.com/. I can also be found at the following locations:

• Blog: balancingblessings.blogspot.com
• FaceBook: www.facebook.com/Balancing.Blessings
• Twitter: twitter.com/BalanceBlesses

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Tips for Balancing your Blessings in 2010

1. Your Priorities

Determine to get your mind and your mission in alignment with your priorities, so you are able to stay focused on what needs to be done in your personal life and business life.

2. Your Prayer Life

Begin your day with prayer. Prayer can take a lot out of you (time and energy), but it pours so much more into you.

3. Your Health

Take care of your self: eat right, find time to exercise at least three times a week for fifteen to twenty minutes a day, and get the right amount of rest that your body requires.

4. Your Possessions

Resolve to not be preoccupied with obtaining things; instead, get rid of things that serve no purpose, give you no joy, and that separates you from God.

5. Your Passions

Have a passion you want to pursue? Get up, dust yourself off, and start pursuing it. Don't have a passion? Make it your passion to discover what God have uniquely place in your heart to do.

6. Your Relationships

Create healthy boundaries, but never miss an opportunity to spend more time with the people you love. Treat people with respect, and commit to adding value to peoples lives without expecting anything in return. In essence "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

7. Your Ministry

Seek to align your will with God's will. Let God be your God, Jesus your example, and the Bible your comprehensive guidebook on life.

8. Your Finances
Live within your means, take care of your family, give according to scriptures, and invest in your future.

9. Your Self Worth

Be yourself, and realize that as a child of God's you are blessed and highly favored.

10. Your Home

Let your home be a place where the Holy Spirit will always feel welcomed.


Reference: Balancing Blessings and Obtaining Order by Sandra Miller.

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Getting Refocused on What Matters Most

As sat and meditated on what I should share this week, my heart turned to all the beautiful women out there who have no idea where to begin in taking steps to get balance and order in their daily life. So in keeping with my mission and passion: to help women manage their time, so they have more time, to invest that time in the things of God; I wanted to provide a basic list to help any woman get refocused on what matters most. So I decided to take one crucial nugget from each of the eleven steps in my book to help you get started; here are the first five steps:

1. Pray often for balance, order and God's daily guidance; in addition, come to realize that God is in control of every aspect of your life. His desire is that you prosper in all things according to his will and that you are in good health.

2. Develop a morning and evening routine and stick to it (at least 80% of the time). This means that you have a set time for going to bed, and a set time for getting up in the morning. Also, consider extending your routine to things you do less often. For example: get hair or nails done the second and forth Tuesday of every month; or grocery shop on the first and third Thursday of every month.

3. Learn to say no to unreasonable and excessive demands on your time. If you feel guilty about saying no, master the art of suggesting that someone (other than you) would be perfect for that task.

4. Take care of yourself (eat right, exercise, etc.) because the health and well-being of so many are dependent upon your health and well-being. Listen to your body and try to get the right amount of rest each night that your body requires. Most people need between six to eight hours per night; and probably a twenty to thirty minute cat-nap during the day.

5. Conquer your clutter, and realize that everything you have is not necessary everything you need; if it does not have a home, consider letting it go.

6. Never stop learning, the Bible says, "Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom; and with all your getting get understanding" (Proverbs 4:7). In addition, pace yourself when working on high-level goals, by establishing low-level goals that will show progression over time toward accomplishing your high-level goals.

7. Dedicate special and consistent time each day (or week) to laugh with and enjoy the people God has blessed you with. Have a sit down dinner with your family; lunch with a friend; read to your child or have your child read to you; take a walk in the park with your spouse; etc.

8. Learn to harness your emotional spending by understanding where your desire to spend comes from, and then make a commitment to live within your means.

9. Read your Bible daily. More specifically: seek God’s counsel by searching the Word of God for His perspective on whatever you may be struggling with or how you should be using your gifts, talents, and passions to glorify Him. The Bible says: “The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge…” (Proverbs 15:14).

10. Cherish yourself, and keep in mind that you are a beautiful woman of God, who has worth and value in the eyes of God. This will require you to create or stick with your daily affirmations to remind yourself often of your worth and value. In addition, continue to seek encouragement from Spirit-filled women; and to strive to have balance so that you are not traveling from one extreme (being overly controlling) to the other (trying to please everyone) which affects your self-esteem and self-worth.

11. Reduce the stress in your life by taking time each day to do something that bring you peace and joy. You may feel guilty in the beginning for wanting that time (especially if you have young children), but decreasing stress, increases your ability to effectively lead, serve and obey God’s promptings.

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The Balance that God Provides

I know how difficult it is to balance it all. After my son was born one of the hardest decisions I had to make was whether to stay home or return to work. From as far back as I can remember I dreamed of being a smart, savvy, career oriented woman rolling in the big bucks, unfortunately when the big bucks did start rolling in I was about to be a mom.

Even though my husband and I agreed, before my son was born, that I would continue to work fulltime outside the home--I had reneged on my end of the agreement the moment my son came into the world. I just could not bear leaving our little one with someone I hardly knew and with someone who could never love him as much as we did. Even though ten months of me being unemployed put a strain on my marriage, those were precious moments with my son I will never regret being a part of.

After my ten months of being a stay-at-home mom, I was back in the workforce. So I know what it is like working both sides of the aisle, or maybe I should say “multiple sides of the aisle.” I have worked from home, part-time, full-time, owned my own business, and now I am preparing for a full-time job outside the home, again. Am I looking forward to it? Not especially, because I know how difficult it is to balance it all. But for me it is also an opportunity to rely more on God. You would think the busier I am the less time I would have for God, but that is actually when I need Him the most. When I am stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted, He brings clarity to my life. God has taught me essentially how to manage my time, so I have more time to invest that time in those things that truly matter to Him. I call it balancing blessings.

Balancing blessings is essentially stewardship, but to me it is also similar to the gift given to most wives and mothers. For instance, a man will look in the cabinets and cupboards and see nothing plausible to eat, but a woman with a desire to care for her family can look in the cabinets and cupboard and see a meal.

There have been many times I've looked at my schedule, and did not know how I was going to do everything I wanted and needed to do. When I sought God's perspective, He gave me the clarity to help me focus on what really needed to be accomplished and the insight as to how I can do things better in the future.

That’s the clarity that God provides. He has taught me simple steps to bring balance and order to every aspect of my life. He has helped me identify and conquer hindrances in my home, in my finances, within myself, and in my processes that has distracted me from loving and focusing on what truly matters to Him. I share what God has taught me in detail in my book Balancing Blessings and Obtaining Order, but a few steps you can take today to bring a little balance and order to your life is listed under the section “Your Call to Order”.

In conclusion, I may not be able to enjoy a weekday afternoon at the park with my son for a while, or bless my family as a stay-at-home mom; but as a wife and mother who works outside the home, I will continue to strive to get and maintain order in my daily life, by relying upon God.

Your Call to Order

• Evaluate your daily schedule.
• Look at where your time is being consumed. How much time is spent wasting time: on the phone, watching television, surfing the internet, socializing, etc. Analyze the value and joy these activities give you in relation to the time you could be spending doing something more meaningful. If you find the time wasters have no benefit, replace it with something more beneficial.
• Seek help.
• Do not be afraid to ask for help. The Proverbs 31 woman had maids!
• Scale down your possessions.
• Every thing you own is not necessary everything you need; start going through your things to determine what can be sold, donated or trashed. The less you have the less you have to clean and maintain.

Power Verses (from the New King James Version)

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him (James 1:5).

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye (Psalm 32:8).

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Tips for Organizing Your Purse for a Life on the Go

I am probably showing my age a little bit, but do you remember the T.V. series “Mad About You” that aired for a time in the 90’s? It was about a newlywed couple named Paul and Jamie Buchman played by Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt, adjusting to life together in Manhattan.

Paul is a documentary filmmaker and Jamie is a public-relations executive with a sister named Lisa (played by Anne Ramsay).

Of the two sisters, Jamie was considered the intelligent, confident, organized, proactive, and more together one. Whereas, Lisa, her exact opposite, was considered to be: dizzy, insecure, disorganized, reactive, and unkempt, most of the time.

In this particular episode called Purseona, written by Eileen Conn, and Andrew Gordon; Paul is shooting a film in Canada, Jamie has a pitch she has to give to a client, and Lisa needs a job.

In the hectic morning rush, Jamie and Lisa exchange places for a day when Lisa accidentally walks out of her sister’s apartment with her sister’s purse—which looked like her own.

Jamie, as you can imagine had all logical stuff in her purse; Lisa on the other hand, did not. When Lisa needed money to catch the train, Voila!—she finds it in her purse; when she was hungry there was a snack; when it rained, she had an umbrella; when she snagged her stockings she had an extra pair of hosiery; when she needed a comb for her hair, she found one. Still oblivious to the fact that she had the wrong purse; suddenly, a different person begins to arise. She becomes confident and self assured and ready to take life by storm. As a result, she was able to land a sales job at a department store, on the spur of the moment.

Jamie’s day wasn’t as smooth as Lisa’s. When she needed money for the train, it wasn’t in her purse; when she was hungry and didn’t have money to stop for a snack, she did without. When it rained she got wet; there were no replacement stockings for the rip in the one she had on; nor a comb to comb out her matted hair. What she did find in her sister’s purse was a rabbit foot, a stale half eaten sandwich, moist pistachio shells, and other meaningless junk.

Eventually, Jamie begins to look more like her sister did just a few hours ago: unkempt and disheveled; and you can imagine what that did to her self-esteem—just before an important meeting.

Most of us will probably not have to worry about that happening, but taking time regularly to evaluate and clean out our purses will help keep us feeling grounded and ready for what most of the day holds—especially if you are a commuter. Our purse on a very small scale symbolizes our ability to organize our lives, and for many of us it represents the Bermuda Triangle from which things enter and never return.

Your Call to Order

Organizing Your Handbag

Next to a cluttered home, having a cluttered purse can also be exasperating. So, how do we get from chaos to order; have the ability to quickly and effortlessly find the things we need; and be able to swap out purses with ease? If you are ready to get started, grab your handbags, shoulder bags, or totes and let’s begin.

• Step 1—clean out your bag or bags over or in close proximity to a trash can, and preferably a shredder.



• Step 2—toss makeup that is dry, flaky, or more than a year old.



• Step 3—determine what things you will need to keep in your purse daily. This might include: money, keys, wallet, eyeglasses, cell (smart) phone, planner, PDA, pens, notepad, business cards, basic makeup, and or a small Bible. Carry only the identification and credit cards needed on a daily basis. It maybe helpful to photo copy the front and back of your credit cards or make a list of all your credit cards just in case your purse gets lost or stolen. The list should include the name of the credit card, the account number, expiration date, and the toll-free number to report a lost or stolen card. Plan to keep your photo copies or list at home with your other important papers.



• Step 4—become versatile by packing your essential items into zippered mini pouches that can be easily transferred from one bag to another. Use the pouches to compartmentalize related items within your purse. One can be used to hold makeup, another can be used to hold coins, another for receipts or medication.



• Step 5—organize your purse into zones, for example, put money in one zippered pocket, communication tools such as a cell (smart) phone, PDA and or planner in an easily accessible space. Place reading material in another section, and your mini pouches in the main living room section of your purse.



• Step 6-be resourceful, if you have additional items you want to carry but do not have space, keep those basic items in the trunk of your car or in your office desk drawer.
  
  When my son was an infant, instead of lugging a big diaper bag around everywhere I went, I discovered the ease of leaving my big diaper bag—with everything I could possibly need—in the car; and towing around a smaller diaper bag with only the bare essentials.

If you would like to share a link or tips for organization your purse please leave a comment below. God Bless…

A Suggested Link:
Know-What-to-Carry-in-Your-Purse

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Can a Person Have Balance without God?

It was 2:08 p.m. when I was sitting at my office desk thinking about all the things that I still had to do. I’ll have to pick my son up at four o’clock—I thought to myself—drive 15 miles home in back-to-back traffic, cook dinner, spend some quality time with my son, wash some clothes, check on the home-based business, grace my husband with my presence at the dinner table (just kidding), prepare for the next day, and so on.

My brief moment of introspection earlier today confirmed for me why I believe so much in the process of balancing blessings and obtaining order. In addition, what God had already put on my heart was reaffirmed in an article on CNN online; that grabbed my attention immediately as I sifted through the day’s online news. The news feed apparently had come from Oprah.com, but originated from the April 2008 edition of The Oprah Magazine. It had the title: Unbalanced life and the Subtitle: You've got 2 billion things to do today, so don't worry about balance.

“In defense of an unbalanced life,” author and life coach, Martha Beck is essentially tells women that impossible demands have been place on them, and if they could see that, they could be free to live unbalanced lives. She wrote, “That's the wonderful thing about seeing that our society makes impossible demands on all women. You free yourself to ignore social pressures and begin creating a life that comes from your own deepest desires, hopes and dreams. You'll stop living life from the outside in and begin living it from the inside out.”

After having read the article, and having written a book on balance, I had to ask myself, “Can a person truly have balance without God?” For me the answer was an absolute “no,” because I believe balance and order comes from the grace and presence of God in one’s life on a daily basis.

With that said, how then do you explain the fact that there are unsaved woman out there who are able to maintain some semblance of balance and order in their daily lives?

We all understand that no one is perfect, but I am sure organizational training, a good support system, and their environment plays a key role in their daily success at maintaining a reasonable level of balance. But what’s missing is spiritual guidance—that wisdom and insight that only God can provide. As Christian women, our daily fellowship with God should provide guidance for our day. I don’t know about you, but I am not God; and from personal experience—and I do mean from personal experience—I can tell you, “if God isn’t in it, any effort on our part to achieve balance and order is futile.” Even Martha herself had to admit: “I conducted years of sociological research on the topic [of balance], wrote a big fat book about it. Plus, I'm a life coach. You'd think I could live a balanced life as a 21st-century American woman.”

My dear sister in Christ, everything that we put on our to-do list, is not necessary everything God wants on our to-do list. Let Him be your counselor. He is a wonderful counselor, and when you align your to-do list with God’s to-do list for you, God will provide "the balance, the creativity, the flow, the joy, the order, the vision, the love, and the grace. Having these things is not only a blessing from above; it is a by-product of being obedient to God."

Your Call to Order
Pray and ask God to help you get some semblance of balance and order in your daily life… He may be calling you to simplify your life, to re-evaluate your priorities, to get outside help; however, he is definitely calling you to seek Him.

Power Verses (from the New King James Version)

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God “(Philippians 4:6).

References:

CNN, “Unbalanced life,” http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/15/o.balance
/index.html , (accessed April 17, 2006)

Sandra Miller, Balancing Blessings™ and Obtaining Order (ByB e-Publishers, 2008).

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